Don’t Let Others Push Your Buttons (or Drive You to Drink)

I routinely encourage people to take a Life Inventory and determine areas of their life that may need improving or may be triggering drinking. Then the next step is to create goals in those areas that need improving and develop action plans to accomplish those goals – and a HUGE part of designing that plan is to identify obstacles that interfere with taking action and accomplishing goals including external and INTERNAL obstacles. Internal obstacles are things about YOU or that YOU do that … [Read more...]

Moderate Drinking as a Form of Self-Love

Do you ever ask yourself why you want to be able to drink moderately instead of abstain altogether? Sure, at first we’d probably say that it’s because we enjoy wine with food, or an ice-cold beer on the back deck, or perhaps being able to drink our favorite mixed drink with friends. But at a deeper level, we really want to be able to drink moderately because we want to be “normal” – we don’t want to be “weak” or have anything “wrong” with us.  Unfortunately, thinking that there might be … [Read more...]

Stop Judging Yourself Because of A Bad Habit or Addiction

image-judging-court-hammer

It seems to be human nature to focus on the negative - especially about ourselves. I really don't know why but a person can give you 100 compliments and one criticism, and what you'll remember or obsess over is the criticism. We do it with our own self-talk as well. If something about us is less than positive or perfect, that's what we seem to focus on and DISTORT. And if you have a "bad habit" or addiction that you turn to in order to escape or cope or feel good, you're probably judging … [Read more...]

Finding Your Inner Warrior – The Strength to Persevere

Sometimes we find our commitment to goals or resolutions wavering. Sometimes it’s simply because we aren’t seeing enough progress quickly enough, or because we get bored with the process or program we are trying to follow. What we have to remember is the ultimate result that we are striving toward and how incredible we will feel when we get there. You have to begin to find pleasure in digging deep and finding your own inner warrior and drive to persevere. It begins by wanting to accomplish … [Read more...]

Recipe for Success

image recipe for success

In the last blog post I mentioned turning to a routine or activities that work for you in order to get you motivated and goal-focused again. Anytime I get off course and find myself living a less than ideal lifestyle, allowing some of my bad habits to creep back into my life, I start over by planning out a routine such as listed below. I SCHEDULE it into my day, and I write it down in my calendar. It looks something like this: Coffee and sit quietly- yes, I admit that I am addicted to … [Read more...]

How to Get Motivated to Control Your Bad Habits – When you don’t know where to start…

treading-water

So it’s the middle of January and I’m wondering just how strong your commitment is now toward accomplishing your New Year goals. Do you find yourself just sort of treading water and not really knowing which way to swim in order to get where you want to go? What IS your goal or desire anyway? Did you intend to lose weight or cut back on drinking, or spending, or any of a multitude of bad habits – but you just can’t get motivated or decide WHERE to start? Start by thinking back on the things … [Read more...]

No Bull Sheet Excuses – Stick to your plan!

New Year 2015 Plan

Okay, it’s January 5 and you've made it through the holidays. Hopefully you have thought about your objectives for 2015, and you’re ready to start implementing your new plans and “resolutions.” You have planned out your goals (weight loss, professional, financial, relationship, etc.), you've planned HOW you’ll accomplish those goals including how you’ll deal with current and potential obstacles. And in your plan, you should have considered how you’ll handle your INNER obstacles as well. You … [Read more...]

How and Why to Go a Few Days Without Drinking Alcohol

Check out this video to get motivated and start to experience a few days alcohol-free (AF). You'll feel SO MUCH BETTER!! … [Read more...]

Is the Person You are Living with Making You Fat?

OK – so maybe that sounds a little exaggerated or even like you’re giving up your power to another person – but you really have to become aware of why you eat too much or drink too much for comfort. Way too often we are persuaded to act differently than our ideal because of those around us. And yes, while we’re all aware of peer pressure or going with the flow – there’s another element that we may not be mindful of – conflict avoidance or trying to seek some type of escape or coping mechanism … [Read more...]

Refocus the Anxious Energy – Get off the Hamster Wheel & Be Productive

dealing with anxious energy

If you are keeping a journal or paying attention to your drinking habits, you probably have noticed how often you drink because something is bothering you and you can’t get it off your mind. You keep worrying about one thing or another - and in order to get relief you turn to a bottle of wine or bag of cookies. But instead of trying to drown that anxious nervous energy, use that energy to get something productive accomplished. For instance, If you get into an argument or disagreement … [Read more...]

And the Survey Says…

Thank you to all of you MODER8 customers that responded to my survey. I promised I would report the results, so here's what you said: 94% of you said that you were drinking less 26% said that you were doing great and that your drinking is cut in half or better However, only 13% of you felt like your drinking is where you want it to be. So I looked through the answers of the most successful users and this is what they said they were doing: The most successful MODER8 users had a … [Read more...]

The Two Most Important Skills in Moderate Drinking – Here’s How to Master Them

control your drinking

If you really think about it, the two most important skills in moderate drinking are: Being able to stay Alcohol-Free (AF) on planned AF days. Being able to STOP at the amount you plan to stop at when you do drink – derailing the binge. If you’re new to moderate drinking, you may be saying “no kidding! If I could do that I wouldn’t have a problem!” But the truth is just like anything that seems nearly impossible, it just takes work, dedication, and a desire to achieve your goal “no … [Read more...]

Alcohol Abuse – Genetic Brain Disease or Bad Habit?

This topic may very well be one of the most passionately argued controversies in the addiction community – right up there with politics and religion in the rest of the world. I can tell you if it were simply black and white, the problem would have been “fixed” a long time ago. Alcoholism is really a combination of brain physiology and bad habits involving not only genetic personality traits and vulnerabilities, but learned behavior and “etched” neural pathways in the brain. According to … [Read more...]

Do You Replace One Bad Habit with Another?

Don’t get me wrong, my primary objective with MODER8 and this site is to help you reduce and control the amount you drink…however it works best for you. I encourage people to identify substitutes for drinking that make them feel good, peaceful, or happy. For some people, they can substitute a reasonable amount of food or other behavior as a treat or reward, but way too often, that substitute becomes another excessive bad habit resulting in the same negative feelings, shame and health problems as … [Read more...]

Are You Including Rewards in Daily Action Plans?

So maybe you’re good at setting goals and creating action plans to accomplish those goals, but how good are you at including healthy, positive rewards for finishing the tasks that lead to accomplishing your goals? Way too often, we turn to alcohol, food or other unhealthy means of pleasure as our reward or pain reliever. When you are planning your activities for the day, also plan your rewards and positive, happy activities as well. I invite you to use the log sheet that I use to plan out my … [Read more...]

Moderate Drinking vs. Abstinence – Which on is Right for You?

balance-moderation-abstinence

I’m going to be really honest – if you’ve been drinking very heavily for years or decades, tend to binge to black-outs or started drinking at an early age – abstinence is easier.  However, if you REALLY want to be able to drink moderately or socially, then it is a potential option for you if it is something that you are willing to commit to and truly work at – because learning to moderate your drinking takes a lot of work.  But I did it – and you can too. So, having said that, you have to … [Read more...]

Are Your Bad Habits Getting in the Way of Your Goals or Success?

Face of Dog

Think about it – how often do you skip action items on your To-Do list because you just don’t feel like doing them – maybe you were hung over or demotivated from missing your workout and binging on sugar.  Or maybe you let some circumstance in your life trigger you to drink or eat something not on your program or turn to your other bad habit of choice – and you went on a binge for an extended period of time…eventually turning into a daily occurrence. You just completely forgot about your plan of … [Read more...]

Our Brains Need LOVE

love

Valentine’s Day is just a couple days away and of course, just like every other blogger, I’m choosing to write about LOVE. But I want to talk about LOVE and how we as human beings are wired to feel good from love, and how important it is to find love or the good feelings that we get from love in healthy ways. From a basic neuroscientific perspective, our bodies release a hormone called oxytocin that makes us feel good when we are “in love” or when we have romantic bonding or even social … [Read more...]

How to Stop Letting Your Fears Lead You to Drink

scared-cat

Is fear causing you to drink too much? How many times have you launched into a real doozy of a binge because you were afraid of something such as losing your house or your spouse or your job? You may not have been consciously aware those were your thoughts, but if you stopped and took a mental inventory, you might realize that those were the underlying fears. Did drinking DO anything to prevent whatever you were afraid of from coming true? Not likely – at best it just relieved your anxiety … [Read more...]

Alcoholism and Genetics

alcoholism-genetics

Is alcoholism genetic? Is it accurate to say that because your father/mother, grandparents were “alcoholics” that is the reason WHY you have a drinking problem? Not necessarily  - but then again, I don’t know a single person that drinks too much that can say that nobody in their family has had a drinking problem. What we know about genetics and personality traits, including substance abuse – is very limited. Basically because it’s nearly impossible to do the typical scientific studies because … [Read more...]

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