Then the next step is to create goals in those areas that need improving and develop action plans to accomplish those goals – and a HUGE part of designing that plan is to identify obstacles that interfere with taking action and accomplishing goals including external and INTERNAL obstacles.
Internal obstacles are things about YOU or that YOU do that get in the way – such as procrastination, people-pleasing, or giving away your power and letting people push your buttons…that ultimately – way too often- lead to a binge in order to drown the feelings as a result of reacting to the button-pusher.
So how do you stop reacting to these button-pushers?
The more you are kind to yourself and know that you are GOOD enough just the way you are, the less likely you are to react to these people. But even then, sometimes people are able to get to our vulnerabilities anyway. Here are a few steps you can take to keep from exploding or turning to bad habits in order to cope:
- STOP and take a breath (or several).
- Ask yourself, “What is this really triggering inside me?” “What am I hearing?”
- Determine the meaning that you are giving the situation. Are you interpreting it to mean anything more than what they are really saying?
- Detach and realize that this is not YOUR issue, it’s your button-pusher’s issue. Don’t take it personally.
- Try to understand where your button-pusher is coming from or what they are trying to accomplish.
- If you can help to problem –solve and work through the issue with the person, great, but if they are just trying to make you feel as badly as they do, your best to simply get away from this person and not react.
- Afterward, practice self-care and self-soothing techniques including getting a little exercise or physical activity in order to burn off the toxic energy.