It seems to be human nature to focus on the negative – especially about ourselves. I really don’t know why but a person can give you 100 compliments and one criticism, and what you’ll remember or obsess over is the criticism.
We do it with our own self-talk as well. If something about us is less than positive or perfect, that’s what we seem to focus on and DISTORT. And if you have a “bad habit” or addiction that you turn to in order to escape or cope or feel good, you’re probably judging yourself HARSHLY about that – if not consciously, then subconsciously. But these are the things you need to know and you need to remind yourself of them daily, if not hourly, to change your self-judgmental critical mindset.
- Everyone has SOMETHING that they use to turn to in order to escape or feel good – whether it’s drinking, eating, shopping, watching TV, exercising, reading, knitting, gardening, etc. – It just happens that some are more healthy than others, and some are more EXCESSIVE than others.
- Know you aren’t a label, like “alcoholic,” “fat,” “lazy,” “irresponsible,” etc. Regardless of whether or not a trait or behavior runs in your family, that doesn’t mean that you are like that! You have CHOICES!!!
- What we focus on expands – Think about it. Have you ever been in a restaurant and suddenly you begin to hear a child crying or an irritating voice. Or perhaps you don’t even hear it until the person you’re with brings it to your attention. Suddenly the more you focus on it, the worse it gets. It’s the same thing with focusing on your bad habits. The more you focus on how much you drink or your expanding waistline, the worse it gets until you feel totally out of control and helpless. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR FOCUS! Focus on your GOALS, action items to accomplish those goals, your strengths and your positives instead of the number on the scale or the number of days you woke up with a hangover this week.
- BE MINDFUL – be mindful of your self-talk and what you hear yourself judging about – especially about your bad habits or addiction. Change what you’re focusing on. If you can’t do it on your own, change your environment and force yourself to change your thoughts or focus, such as turning on the radio or music, start reading or call someone. Do whatever it takes to stop obsessing over the negative and start focusing on the SOLUTION – creating the YOU that you want to be, living the life that you want to live!